Love in Grey
by Kurosawa-san
Summary: The blight has ended and the Archdemon has been slain, yet the Hero of Fereldan still cannot find peace. She embarks on a new adventure, seeking out old friends, making new ones and maybe finding a new flame?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, they all belong to Bioware. Even Euna is not completely mine.

2

He twirled the pendant between his fingers. Sometimes he stopped and stared at the hidden engraving within. He snapped it shut, his fingers caressed the small, almost invisible cracks. It was the one that belonged to his mother years ago, the unfortunate maid who caught the eye of the old king. The same pendant he smashed into the wall, shattering his only connection to the mother he never knew. Even though he was raised by the chantry, he would never consider himself the religious sort. Yet now, Alistair clutched it tightly, he willed it to give him some wisdom or an ounce of advice. Andraste was silent, mocking him with her silver eyes. The urge to smash it again resurfaced suddenly. Instead, he shoved it aside and watched as the light from the fire danced across the glittering surface.

His control was wearing thin, but he made a vow as husband to honor and love his wife. While he did not love Anora, she was still his wife for better or for worst. Once a week they would lay together in hopes to conceive an heir. Otherwise, they kept touching to minimal, not even holding hands. This lack of affection and coldness from his wife was taking a toll on his mental perseverance. He sighed into his hands. Oh dear Maker, why was he cursed with this blood? Why couldn't have Maric keep his blasted urges to himself or his wife? If only he had been born common or anything other than prince then maybe things would have turned out right.

The woman he loved lived below the same roof as he. That mere fact was enough to drive him crazy. "Get a grip Alistair." He whispered to himself, his hands raked through his golden mane. However, it was not as easy as he thought it would. Each night he spent with Anora, he tried imagine her as Euna. Just a trick to make it more bearable and to make it not seem like work. Just one time was all it took, well that and the slap that left his ear ringing. Apparently, kissing is a no-no, even during sex. Of course, now it was just that, sex. Not making love or any of that nonsense, but of course the need of the many outweigh the need of the few. The country practically demanded Theirin blood and it was many nights as these that Alistair cursed his half-brother. If Cailan had not been the fool he was, the child galloping into war for his glorious battle!

Shame filled him, if he had died and not Cailan everything would have been fine. Yet fate was petty like that, taking whomever she wanted whenever she cared for it. Maybe this was his punishment for having intercourse before marriage. Though he avoided being struck by lightning, it also could have been of the figurative sense. He was forced into a marriage with a woman who hates his guts while the love of his life is being dangled before him like a carrot on a string. That of course made him the ass that followed it blindly. A soft knock stirred him from his thoughts.

"Come in." Perhaps it was Anora wanting another try at the old lamppost? He grimaced at the image. The door creaked open and Euna walked in. She wore her usual teal robes, the one with the fur trim and that brought out the green of her eyes. He was always thankful mages never wore armor, but now he cursed it as he found his eyes tracing her figure.

She closed the door and leaned against it, her eyes fixed on the stone floor. Her hair was loose, he noticed, left curled by her usual braids. Slowly she raised her eyes to meet his. "I'm not disturbing you am I?"

"No," he cleared his throat, "No I was just umm sitting here, and well obviously I'm sitting. I was going over some papers." He plastered on a fake smile. "The citizens are quite happy about the decisions you are making. If I did anything good as king, it was making you chancellor."

"Alistair-"

"Please don't make this any harder for the both of us." She stepped away from the door angrily and slammed her palms on his desk.

"And why shouldn't I? Alistair, I love you! I just don't understand why we can't be together."

"Well how about me being married for one?"

"It's a political marriage!"

"I must have an heir. You can't ask me to be king, husband, father and lover all at once."

"And why not? Cailan did!"

He stared at her and rose from his seat. Euna held her stance as he walked around the desk, and stopped a foot from her.

"I am not Cailan. I thought you, of all people, would understand that. Whatever he did behind closed doors was his problem, but I'm not the type of man to have women on the side. I could not do that to you or even Anora." Her eyes were begging him, but he used his anger to beat back his desire.

"But she knew. She knew and she allowed it. She said she would even allow us!"

"You what? You talked to her? About us?" Alistair began pacing the study, shaking his head violently. "Why is it that you always go behind my back? How can you do that to me? This isn't the first time either. First, you plot with Eamon to make me king, then you make me perform an evil sex ritual to make a demon baby with Morrighan. With Morrighan! For Andraste's sake. And just when I think it can't get any worst you convince me to marry my brother's widow. I'm just a puppet, a substitute for Cailan, how you managed to convince me I will never know. Have you ever stopped to think about how much I am suffering? I'm forced to sleep with a woman I don't even love just to keep this kingdom from collapsing." He dropped into his seat and rubbed his temples. It was the beginning of a killer headache. He felt slender hands on his shoulders, massaging away the tension in his neck.

"I apologize. You are going through this all because of me...I have been selfish." She said. Alistair covered her hand with his.

"Don't go blaming yourself, it was inevitable really." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She walked around the chair and sat on his lap. "Euna-" She hushed him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Please, just give me this." Alistair said nothing and embraced her instead. He could feel her tears through his shirt. No words of comfort, no smart jests or jokes, just silence. At last, she started to pull away but his arms held firm.

"Just a bit longer." How tempting it was to never let her go. He thought he was passed this; her love was a poison far more toxic than any venom or blood magic. The second time she pulled away, he let her. She touched his face, tracing his jaw, his cheeks, his nose, his mouth. Burning it into her memory. Gently she leaned in and brushed their lips together. A chaste kiss that left his heart racing and sent electricity throughout his body. Suddenly he wanted more. Three months had been too long. He caught her mouth as she was pulling back, locking her wrists one in each hand. Euna kissed back passionately, knowing this was to be their last. They broke for air and she stood up. His eyes followed her as she went for the door.

"I guess this is goodbye." She gave him a teary smile that wretched his heart.

"Yea, I guess so."

xxx

Euna wiped away the constant stream of tears as she hurried to her chambers. She couldn't stay in the castle any longer. She needed to run, needed to be far _far _away. No guards intercepted her path and for that, she was grateful. With a shove, she opened her door, paying no mind as its wooden frame slammed against the wall. In a frenzy, she grabbed her satchel, her fingers trembling as she choked back her sobs. She went to her desk, pulling the draws with such force her potions clinked together furiously. The few potions she took, she stored them wrapped in her spare robes. The weight of her coin pouch hung by her belt, the coins rattled and thumped heavily on her thigh with each step.

She half ran and half walked towards the castle gates. The guards on duty stared questioningly at her tear-stained face and flushed cheeks. "Out for a midnight stroll, Messere?" One asked. Euna gave him a sad smile, "More than a stroll serah."

"Should we arrange an escort?" The other piqued. She shook her head, afraid to draw any more attention to herself.

"No, I'll be fine on my own. There are some…important matters I must attend to. I shan't be returning for a while." They nodded and raised the gates. Her heart thundered in her chest, she was finally leaving. As she let the gate rattle and close behind her, she was reminded of when she left the Circle. Anxiety, fear, and surprisingly relief; All those emotions came roaring back to her. With one-step, she had ended her last life and began a new one with the Wardens. Now, she was ending that life, and only the Maker knows what her third life will have in store for her.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, they all belong to Bioware. Even Euna is not completely mine.

2

He twirled the pendant between his fingers. Sometimes he stopped and stared at the hidden engraving within. He snapped it shut, his fingers caressed the small, almost invisible cracks. It was the one that belonged to his mother years ago, the unfortunate maid who caught the eye of the old king. The same pendant he smashed into the wall, shattering his only connection to the mother he never knew. Even though he was raised by the chantry, he would never consider himself the religious sort. Yet now, Alistair clutched it tightly, he willed it to give him some wisdom or an ounce of advice. Andraste was silent, mocking him with her silver eyes. The urge to smash it again resurfaced suddenly. Instead, he shoved it aside and watched as the light from the fire danced across the glittering surface.

His control was wearing thin, but he made a vow as husband to honor and love his wife. While he did not love Anora, she was still his wife for better or for worst. Once a week they would lay together in hopes to conceive an heir. Otherwise, they kept touching to minimal, not even holding hands. This lack of affection and coldness from his wife was taking a toll on his mental perseverance. He sighed into his hands. Oh dear Maker, why was he cursed with this blood? Why couldn't have Maric keep his blasted urges to himself or his wife? If only he had been born common or anything other than prince then maybe things would have turned out right.

The woman he loved lived below the same roof as he. That mere fact was enough to drive him crazy. "Get a grip Alistair." He whispered to himself, his hands raked through his golden mane. However, it was not as easy as he thought it would. Each night he spent with Anora, he tried imagine her as Euna. Just a trick to make it more bearable and to make it not seem like work. Just one time was all it took, well that and the slap that left his ear ringing. Apparently, kissing is a no-no, even during sex. Of course, now it was just that, sex. Not making love or any of that nonsense, but of course the need of the many outweigh the need of the few. The country practically demanded Theirin blood and it was many nights as these that Alistair cursed his half-brother. If Cailan had not been the fool he was, the child galloping into war for his glorious battle!

Shame filled him, if he had died and not Cailan everything would have been fine. Yet fate was petty like that, taking whomever she wanted whenever she cared for it. Maybe this was his punishment for having intercourse before marriage. Though he avoided being struck by lightning, it also could have been of the figurative sense. He was forced into a marriage with a woman who hates his guts while the love of his life is being dangled before him like a carrot on a string. That of course made him the ass that followed it blindly. A soft knock stirred him from his thoughts.

"Come in." Perhaps it was Anora wanting another try at the old lamppost? He grimaced at the image. The door creaked open and Euna walked in. She wore her usual teal robes, the one with the fur trim and that brought out the green of her eyes. He was always thankful mages never wore armor, but now he cursed it as he found his eyes tracing her figure.

She closed the door and leaned against it, her eyes fixed on the stone floor. Her hair was loose, he noticed, left curled by her usual braids. Slowly she raised her eyes to meet his. "I'm not disturbing you am I?"

"No," he cleared his throat, "No I was just umm sitting here, and well obviously I'm sitting. I was going over some papers." He plastered on a fake smile. "The citizens are quite happy about the decisions you are making. If I did anything good as king, it was making you chancellor."

"Alistair-"

"Please don't make this any harder for the both of us." She stepped away from the door angrily and slammed her palms on his desk.

"And why shouldn't I? Alistair, I love you! I just don't understand why we can't be together."

"Well how about me being married for one?"

"It's a political marriage!"

"I must have an heir. You can't ask me to be king, husband, father and lover all at once."

"And why not? Cailan did!"

He stared at her and rose from his seat. Euna held her stance as he walked around the desk, and stopped a foot from her.

"I am not Cailan. I thought you, of all people, would understand that. Whatever he did behind closed doors was his problem, but I'm not the type of man to have women on the side. I could not do that to you or even Anora." Her eyes were begging him, but he used his anger to beat back his desire.

"But she knew. She knew and she allowed it. She said she would even allow us!"

"You what? You talked to her? About us?" Alistair began pacing the study, shaking his head violently. "Why is it that you always go behind my back? How can you do that to me? This isn't the first time either. First, you plot with Eamon to make me king, then you make me perform an evil sex ritual to make a demon baby with Morrighan. With Morrighan! For Andraste's sake. And just when I think it can't get any worst you convince me to marry my brother's widow. I'm just a puppet, a substitute for Cailan, how you managed to convince me I will never know. Have you ever stopped to think about how much I am suffering? I'm forced to sleep with a woman I don't even love just to keep this kingdom from collapsing." He dropped into his seat and rubbed his temples. It was the beginning of a killer headache. He felt slender hands on his shoulders, massaging away the tension in his neck.

"I apologize. You are going through this all because of me...I have been selfish." She said. Alistair covered her hand with his.

"Don't go blaming yourself, it was inevitable really." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She walked around the chair and sat on his lap. "Euna-" She hushed him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Please, just give me this." Alistair said nothing and embraced her instead. He could feel her tears through his shirt. No words of comfort, no smart jests or jokes, just silence. At last, she started to pull away but his arms held firm.

"Just a bit longer." How tempting it was to never let her go. He thought he was passed this; her love was a poison far more toxic than any venom or blood magic. The second time she pulled away, he let her. She touched his face, tracing his jaw, his cheeks, his nose, his mouth. Burning it into her memory. Gently she leaned in and brushed their lips together. A chaste kiss that left his heart racing and sent electricity throughout his body. Suddenly he wanted more. Three months had been too long. He caught her mouth as she was pulling back, locking her wrists one in each hand. Euna kissed back passionately, knowing this was to be their last. They broke for air and she stood up. His eyes followed her as she went for the door.

"I guess this is goodbye." She gave him a teary smile that wretched his heart.

"Yea, I guess so."

xxx

Euna wiped away the constant stream of tears as she hurried to her chambers. She couldn't stay in the castle any longer. She needed to run, needed to be far _far _away. No guards intercepted her path and for that, she was grateful. With a shove, she opened her door, paying no mind as its wooden frame slammed against the wall. In a frenzy, she grabbed her satchel, her fingers trembling as she choked back her sobs. She went to her desk, pulling the draws with such force her potions clinked together furiously. The few potions she took, she stored them wrapped in her spare robes. The weight of her coin pouch hung by her belt, the coins rattled and thumped heavily on her thigh with each step.

She half ran and half walked towards the castle gates. The guards on duty stared questioningly at her tear-stained face and flushed cheeks. "Out for a midnight stroll, Messere?" One asked. Euna gave him a sad smile, "More than a stroll serah."

"Should we arrange an escort?" The other piqued. She shook her head, afraid to draw any more attention to herself.

"No, I'll be fine on my own. There are some…important matters I must attend to. I shan't be returning for a while." They nodded and raised the gates. Her heart thundered in her chest, she was finally leaving. As she let the gate rattle and close behind her, she was reminded of when she left the Circle. Anxiety, fear, and surprisingly relief; All those emotions came roaring back to her. With one-step, she had ended her last life and began a new one with the Wardens. Now, she was ending that life, and only the Maker knows what her third life will have in store for her.


End file.
